I am completely failing at adulting. I'm a damn 48-year-old woman, I own a house and a jeep and have two ADULT kids. I have a 401k and health insurance, and yet... I fucked up my tax return last year and now owe the IRS 4k. I thought my car payment had already come out, but no... it didn't. Now it's going to bounce because I have $78 in my account. WHY do I only have $78 in my account? Because I'm trying to buy myself some happiness I guess. 

I am a complete slob. Like, borderline hoarder situation here. I can't quite function on a "normal" level. I'm angry one minute, and completely excited and happy the next.  I need to just completely throw out EVERYTHING in my life and start over. But I can't do that. I have responsibilities and I have to muddle through as best I can, and that's actually so fucking depressing. 

Can I just change my mind about everything? Like... hey bank.. take this house back, and take this car back, I want to rent a shithole apartment and drive a beater, and live on lawn furniture for a while with NOTHING to my name, no one depending on me, no credit cards - literally nothing.